Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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