i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
