Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
