you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The uberlube is also flammable
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
