glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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