She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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