I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize