its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
