My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize