do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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