Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize