babies were throwing up all over the place
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
