dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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