Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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