The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
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