Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
this will be a night to untag.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
