It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
