My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
