i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
