This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
either way he was missing a nipple.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
