I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
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I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
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