I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
