Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
