I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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