I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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