So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize