dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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