I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
it hurts more in the daytime
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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