I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
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