what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
