i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
