therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
