i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
