i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
this is an emotional support booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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