i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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