you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
