Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I puked a lego.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
either way he was missing a nipple.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
