is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
