Me. At least after what I've been through.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
