your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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