We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
