You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
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He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
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I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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