I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
