Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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