I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
