Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
