Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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