just come out here and I will go home with you...
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
