Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
