For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
