dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I cannot find my penis.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
