Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
