so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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