at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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