Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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