I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
It was confusing and full of hummus
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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